Old Circus Performers Never Die - they just roll up
Ever wondered what happens to circus performers when they get too old to perform? In Aperitivo's case they just carry on. In fact we could have called this Carry On in the Big Tent, but as a title it's a bit long... and a hint derivative. So we called it Roll Up! Roll Up! instead. After all, the first thing any of them seem to do when they stop for a breather is to roll up. A cigarette, that is. Aperitivo fans will be delighted to see most of their old friends (and getting older) back again next June, plus a few new faces. As Georgio the Gorilla says "We could do with some new blood in the circus, we've already spilt most of ours."
Sopranos think they are the most important element in a choir, as they carry the melody.There are always lots of Sopranos. Altos despise Sopranos because they know that their part is much more difficult. Tenors are always the smallest group in a choir because few men can reach the high notes, so tenors believe they are special. Basses despise Tenors because it is much more macho to sing bass. The Maestro despises them all because he is in charge but nobody ever watches him when he conducts.
It is almost surprising that in Aperitivo’s Murder in the Choir there is only one corpse.
Performances: June 1st at the Casa do Povo, Moncarapacho; June 14th and 15th at the Museum, São Brás. For more information email firstname.lastname@example.org
Detective Sergeant Singer is in charge of the investigation - and as if that isn't bad enough, he has brought along Detective Constable Snuff...
SINGER Hey, that’s important! Make a note, Snuff! SNUFF Yes chief. What note? SINGER Well, since we’re dealing with a choir, Snuff, maybe it should be... La! Eh? La? Get it? SNUFF La? SINGER Yes, like: la, la, la, laaaah! SNUFF La la la laaah? SINGER Yes. SNUFF How many La’s is that? SINGER It doesn’t matter. Now let me think.... SNUFF (counts on fingers) la la la laaah. It’s four La’s, Sarge.
And while we're on the subject of La... Why does a bass always wait outside the door? He can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in.
Performances of Murder in the Choir: June 1st at the Casa do Povo, Moncarapacho; June 14th and 15th at the Museum, São Brás. For more information email email@example.com
Thraxton library, under the aegis of Miss Prunes, is always the centre of gossip, scandal and slander. And when Miss Prodnose and Miss Snipe finish picking holes in the other members of the library choir, they can always bitch at each other. PRODNOSE But, Miss Prunes, how did you think the choir sounded last night?I thought the altos were terribly unbalanced. SNIPE Unbalanced!What can you expect with Mrs Alton singing so loudly?I was standing next to her and I couldn’t hear myself at all. But at least the altos were singing the right notes, which is more than can be said for the sopranos.
Ah! What a wonderful thing is Harmony. Which reminds me... How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How many basses does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they are so macho they prefer to walk in the dark.
Mr. Profundo is the bass soloist of the Thraxton Village Choir. As Mr. Profundo himself says, "we basses carry the tragedy of the piece". And his admiring wife agrees. Not everyone is quite as admiring, of course. Mr. Carmichael the tenor refers to Mr. Profundo as 'the singing bear in the next room', and explains why all basses have beards: "It’s something to do with voice production I believe, the notes get lost in all the hair and eventually emerge several tones lower." However Mr. Profundo and Mr. Carmichael do have something in common - both are under suspicion of murder!
Performances of Aperitivo's MURDER IN THE CHOIR: June 1st at the Casa do Povo, Moncarapacho; June 14th and 15th at the Museum, São Brás. For more information email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Oh dear! Mr. Dupont has written a new choral work, and his rich wife has arranged for it to be put on in London, but who is this guest singer that Mr. Dupont insists should sing the Soprano solos? Find out in Murder in the Choir!
By the way - How many Sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two - one to screw it in, and the other to say - Isn't that a little high for you, dear?